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Archive for October, 2010

>Serenity Celebrates Earth Day

> Serenity did celebrate Earth Day, in her own back yard, with Mom and Dad. She was dressed in her Indian style shirt, and with a braid at the side of her face.

She didn’t plant any trees, but she did climb one (with Dad’s help of course.)

After an energetic play time she decided to relax in the clover patch. I don’t think she was as tired as the parents–just saying.
Grandma in the yellow house, who celebrated Earth Day by ignoring it.
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Redneck Training

The story begins when Sunny’s Mom gave her the book “Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus. She read the book and followed its promptings on getting her husband to do a simple chore for her, putting up a curtain rod.

Sunny: “Honey, will you put up a curtain rod for me so we can get this window covered?”

Mike: “Sure. I’ll do it later.” (which means NO!)

Sunny: “Thanks for doing this for me.” (Still following book suggestions)

Several days later Sunny asks again to have the curtain rod put up.

Mike: “I’ll get to it later.” (which means not gonna happen!)

Sunny: “Thanks honey, for doing this for me.” (still thinking the book just might be on the right track for getting the man trained to do what he’s asked.)

Several days later-same conversation, same results. Several days after that Sunny throws the book in the trash, deciding it was not meant for redneck husbands.

Sunny puts up a curtain rod, made from redneck husbands favorite fishing rod. He notices the curtain is up, and I’m sure he congratulates himself on getting out of that “chore.” It takes 3 more weeks until he just happens to notice a little eyelet thing at the end of the curtain rod that looks like a fishing line guide.  Yes, it took that long to discover his favorite fishing rod was now holding up a curtain. Sunny sweetly reminded him she had waited 6 weeks for him to put that curtain rod up, and she finally decided to just do it herself. It was his fault if he wasn’t happy with the results.

Sunny is seriously thinking of writing a book called “Redneck Training My Way.” She says it will be much more realistic than “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.”

photo from photobucket

okiewife, who finds redneck true stories hilarious

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Redneck Revenge

Old saying: Revenge is a dish best served cold.

10 months later is probably cold enough.  I got this story while sitting on my front porch with a smart woman who was cheated on and abandoned by her husband when he decided an old school flame was more important to him than his family.  After  the old flame dumped him, he eventually worked his way back into his home, but is still on probation. Like walking on eggs as the old saying goes. The family includes 2 teenage girls who are ambivalent about the whole situation. So with that background,  here’s “The Rest of the Story” as Paul Harvey said.

Smart Woman: “I got pulled over by police in a traffic check yesterday for an expired license tag. I just got a warning because I was on my way home from work and still wearing my nursing scrubs. I told the cop my husband and I had swapped vehicles for the day, and he will be in BIG trouble when I get home.”

Me: “So, you didn’t know the license was expired?”

S.W. : “Yes, but I pretended ignorance, and promised to make him get the new tag on Monday. While I was talking to him they pulled a white pick-up going the opposite direction over  on the other side of the highway. Well, well. There was the homewrecker, with her daughter and son-in-law.  I wanted to get out and stomp her into the ground, but with 6 cops looking on–not gonna happen.

Me: “Sometimes restraint is the best option.”

S.W.: “Right. But a smart woman can come with another idea quick as the snap of her fingers.  Some people can think later what they should have said or done, and some of us have the idea ready and waiting.”

Me: “So, what did you do?

S.W.: “I smiled at the cop and said ‘I don’t know why you stopped that white pick-up, but a quick search might get you a drug bust.’ He smiled back and said, ‘Thanks. We’ll check it out.’ And he waved me on. I drove off smiling.”

Me: “So do you really think they might find drugs when they search?”

S.W.: “There is a very good chance they will.  I plan to buy a paper at work tomorrow to see if she made the news. Hopefully she’s in the slammer waiting for bail.”

Me: “Does the rest of your family know about this?

S.W.: “Just the 16 year old. And she laughed hysterically when I told her. She was the one most hurt by the affair.”

Me: This would make a good blog post. Can I use it?

S.W.: “Sure go ahead. None of them but me will read it anyway.”

So friends, my advice is to never make a smart woman angry. She may have been the valedictorian of her graduating class, and be very territorial and protective of her children, to the point she will wait months to get even.

Yes, I know “Vengeance is mine. Thus saith the Lord.” But sometimes when opportunity presents itself, a person succumbs to temptation so quickly it just can’t be recalled.

okiewife, who is reporting on a continuing saga.

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Boxes on Wheels

Car designers have run out of new ideas. What else can we think when all cars look alike except for the boxes on wheels. Remember the 50’s and 60’s when you could name the make and model of any car on the road with just a glance? Remember tail fins and fender skirts? And how about those sexy sun visors…..all things of the fondly remembered past.

This is one of the new “boxes on wheels”-the Kia Soul. Just one of the “new” designs on the road now.  How new is this design? Some of the younger generation probably think it started with this: The Chrysler PT Cruiser…

courtesy of photobucket

Oh, no! Definitely not the beginning. Statement from the former owner of  a Gremlin from the mid-70’s. (See a previous post). Well, guess what….the Gremlin was not the first box on wheels either. When I was preschool age my Dad had one of these:

courtesy of photobucket

This may have been the first “box on wheels” with a gasoline engine and the design is alive and well  more than 80 years later.  So…when will we see something new? Maybe never, after all Ecclesiastes 1:9 says: That which has been is what will be. That which is done is what will be done. And there is nothing new under the sun.

Last thought, even before cars there were boxes on wheels, called wagons. So don’t expect anything new until we all get flying saucers ala The Jetsons.

okiewife, who is waiting for her flying saucer

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